1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?
Fuuuuck, man, survived a goddamn pandemic that's still going on. That's why I'm doing OMG Year this year. Year 17 is something, jfc. I hope I do this for 3 more years, so I can look back on 20 years of this shit, but also, so I can look back in a few years and see that I survived a goddamn black plague.
I refer to it as the world ending. In many ways, it really did.
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
So last year, I said: Now let's see, for this year: with the surgery coming up, I think I can finally well and truly say that my high school weight is my goal weight. Let's make it happen, bitch. Only you can prevent (lol, I wrote pervert) forest fires.
HOLY SHIT, I DID IT. I DID IT. My high school weight was 180. As of today, I'm 159.8. I fit in a SIZE FUCKING 8, BITCH. I never, in my wildest goddamn dreams, thought I'd fit in a size fucking 8, holy shit.
So my resolution (I said 'solution', god, so many typos) for next year: Don't forget all the hard work and sacrifice to be in a size 8. Don't gain the goddamn weight back. Remember your goals. Remember how good this feels. Don't fuck it up.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but soon.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My SIL miscarried at 16 weeks. Jesus, that fucking sucked. A truly "shit, we are honest to god grown ass adults" moment, taking my kid with me to go comfort my brother and his kids while my SIL was in the hospital.
We got old, man. Somehow, we got old.
5. What countries did you visit?
Tijuana, Mexico! Right before the world ended. In fact, the world ended WHILE I was recuperating in Tijuana. I will never forget laying in the hospital bed, reading on my phone that Governor Murphy ordered the schools closed. A real 'holy shit, this is real' moment.
6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?
Last year I said... "So uh... back to that surgery. Goal weight. Make it shine, Gunga Din. That's what I want." Good, did that.
This year? We are probably moving to Riyadh, in Saudi goddamn Arabia, this August, and I really, really want it to work out. I want an active social life that makes me happy. I want to have landed in a place we can all see ourselves staying at and being happy in for at least 4 years. Putting this out to the universe. Make it happen.
7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Laying in the hospital bed around March 15th or so, reading that Murphy had ordered the schools closed. Movie theaters closed. Gyms closed. That people were hoarding toilet paper and panicking. Cardi B's "shit is gettin' real" mix. It was all so bizarre and strange and other-worldly, and I don't think I'll ever forget those moments.
Shit really was getting real. I didn't really think it would touch us the way it did, but in that moment, I felt fear and confusion.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being under 200 lbs for the first time in probably almost 20 years. Surviving a fucking pandemic.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Last year, I said, "Being the heaviest I've ever been certainly feels like fucking failure, but I have also taken real, measurable steps to change that." So it's cool that I moved past that failure. Oh, I also said, "Wait. Wait, wait. Fucking sleep apnea. That feels like a failure. A goddamn failure. And that's what finally spurred me to take these steps."
This year? Fuck, this year, I'm not going to call anything a failure. I survived goddamn 2020. Good on me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I'm living through a pandemic.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Size 8 clothing from eshakti. The clothes fit me like a dream. I didn't stuff my ass into anything.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Any single person who wore a mask and social distanced and gave a shit about public health and other people. Good on all of us who did it.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I'll probably never not think the GOP are gutless, shit-faced cowards. I enjoy hearing about them when they die of fucking COVID for being fucking morons. Fuck them all.
14. Where did most of your money go?
This year, 7k went into redoing the bathroom. Not for funsies, but because we had to do it. Walls leaking and toilet broken and all that. Bathroom looks cool now though. (So, just like last year, this house. The money goes into this house.)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Honestly? I'm really excited about the idea of moving to Saudi Arabia. Never thought I'd even be vaguely interested, but I really am.
16. What song will always remind you of 2020?
This... hasn't really been a musical year. I've been listening to a lot of Shiatsu Shane's ASMR videos, which are very soothing, which is exactly what I need right now.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a)happier or sadder?
I mean, I'm living through a pandemic? I'm mostly exhausted.
b)thinner or fatter?
THINNER. FUCK YEAH.
c)richer or poorer?
Think I'm even?
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I mean, I wish I hadn't been in a pandemic and therefore had done more of anything, but I'm a responsible social distancer, so it's kinda hard to answer this question. 2020 ain't the year for doing much.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Literally nothing? There hasn't been much to DO.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Last year, I said, "I'm ready for a change. It felt too busy and too stressful and I didn't not go back to work refreshed from the break. I'd like to sit my ass on a beach instead."
Well, except for the beach part, I got my wish (in a weird pandemic-y way). Christmas was AWESOME. We stayed in pjs all day. I drank in the joy on my daughter's face as she opened presents. We took Christmas day naps. It was exactly what I wanted.
21. Did you fall in love in 2020?
I mean... no?
22. How many one-night stands?
I kinda wanted to have one with a girl that I met (that husband knew about), but then the world ended, so like... oops. Didn't get my big gay fix.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
I really liked The Queen's Gambit and I'm enjoying watching Avatar with the kid. Oh, and Derry Girls fucking slapped.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I will always hate the GOP. That answer is pretty much the same from year to year.
25. What was the best book you read?
Fuck, reading got so derailed this year. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was pretty damn good, but I just didn't read much this year.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Nope, didn't happen. I like watching music videos with my kid though.
27. What did you want and get?
Bariatric surgery. Bam.
28. What did you want and not get?
I wanted the pandemic to be over already, but uh... yeah. Still dealing with that shit.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Like, fuck, man, this wasn't really the year for movies, was it? Most of them are delayed, movie theaters are still closed. The few movies I did watch were like, cool and all, but not particularly memorable. (Bill and Ted Face the Music comes to mind.) It was just... like... a weird fucking year.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 41, and the husband and I went to the Roxbury Motel in upstate New York, and it was really fucking nice and relaxing to get away for a bit and sit in a hot tub and do some gentle hiking.
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not being in a global pandemic?
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Comfortably casual. I've discovered linen pants and soft palazzo pants, and I mostly exist in those with hoodies and t-shirts, and it's fucking awesome.
33. What kept you sane?
Writing. Weight loss. Drugs.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I guess Biden and Harris, for being relatively decent people? I mean, the bar is so fucking low now, but here we are.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Election made me sick with nerves and fear. Ugh. Fuck. Moving on.
36. Who did you miss?
I miss having a social life. I miss community theater. I miss having closer friendships. 2020 was a fucking year, man.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Before the world ended, I met some cool peeps while doing Much Ado, but then, ya know, the world fucking ended.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:
I'm ready to get out of the rat race. The pandemic has really helped me to reevaluate what I want out of my life, and what I want is a more relaxed lifestyle and more time with my family. (And I'm hoping moving to Riyadh will help with that.)
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"We didn't start the fire
It was always burning, since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!"
Thanks, Billy Joel.